alone

its just a feeling.
cant stop thinking.
i want it to go away.
but my mind is relentless.

it seems to me that others perceive my actions slow..... i do not move slow, i move at the speed of one who thinks ahead. if others don't have the patience to stay and listen, then shouldn't i just not bother?... all my helping.. all my... logic..... is wasted on people who after so many years of help still cant help themselves.... i have problems yes.... but not with people, as all others do, i use my logic and my experiences to avoid such things... my problems dwell within....if i talk of them id be labeled crazy... and i know what crazy 'IS', i mean i went to a pscych ward for fucks sake... or just make things realy awkward...my mind isnt a fun place to be... any way .... the problem with helping whats inside somone can only be done by somone else... since somone elses problems seems much easier than ones own....i mean help doesnt mean the solution no the solution has to come from ones own realisation....right
>.>

i'm a sin eater

I shed tears of crimson,
yet no one sees the blood.
I speak words of wisdom,
only to bite my tongue.
I move to my own goals,
to let others get ahead.

I'm a sin eater, to help others in need.
I'm a sin eater, which makes me a black sheep.
I am a sin eater, only to die young and alone

I hate people.

Dreams and Anger

always ever spinning downward. not knowing where you were headed but you knew it was important and fanciful. you crash which rends your flesh, body and soul, but the fire that burns around, in and through you is the worst pain you'll ever endure, but it fades as it burns away your feelings. you crawl away, you try to run away, and try to blame others for what happened. but just sit and watch and see the flames die out, and let your soul die with them.

haiku

all beauty in sight,
but never knowing the truth,
hope corrupts the mind.

a mask of darkness,
wanting to see more than glass,
look in to keep sane.

needles in my side,
heart rips and tears inside me,
crush hope to stop pain.

wanting turns to need,
to need something makes you weak,
don't take possession.

take away ones mind,
become like all the others,
now you are 'happy'.

face rolling

.... mcv 0rf,.zw,ko;i kxchn,.;xgweo vgfugr,kltui8w34 t5i93enkfu7gt58olj fre7ihs943e xd9y9p 8aw4y hys3489p43j[ggtfiudrtvgbfhyo;n v gtju8 8 gftr76 r45ww2 hy67 ji889 ko yu76ftr w3 76 *slams face on keyboard and rolls around on it*

I don't get it...

okay okay.... I'm told by women they want someone intelligent and have something to talk about and feel as if they wont be judged (which i do naturally anyway). but it seems as soon as i talk of a topic there is no interest in the least in me... and then they go off and date some moronic bastard or just fuck someone who has no understanding of ANYTHING..... so then i ask around and figure out what the hell I'm doing wrong... and guess what i find out.... that i shouldn't talk about anything important or intelligent i should talk about them and only them...... and IT FUCKING WORKED.. WTF.... is this all there is to offer conceited narcissistic cunts who are hypocrites and liars who are more of a perverted ass then i am.... that's pretty fucking sad.....

capitalism...

Money is such a horrible thing that can control and manipulate most people. I never understood why people endure such a thing... But then i realised people keep the capitalist ideal around because its the easiest path. 'Why change something that isn't broken'. But how can you know it is broken if its been the same way since the beginning (and yes I am implying that the capitalist system was broken when it was brought about).Why should people work to live? Why not the other way around? Is it because people don't enjoy to get there hands dirty without any compensation? That would just mean people are greedy and were born that way. I believe its how we're raised that makes the mass majority of people greedy, so the idea of capitalism could be obolished if people learn a way to raise a child without the idea of ownership.

hope, what a joke.

is hope just something to cloud ones mind. is it something that people do to trick themselves into believing in something that isn't truly plausible, or could it be something that is plausible but because one hopes so much the person that hopes never does anything to make it happen.

Why?

why is it that all people want somthing that they know they shouldnt or can't have. its odd, for the things that you want are not things that you need, it never is. lots of people want cars but they dont NEED them. i mean why the hell is it so imparitive to have such things, im not just meaning material things im also meaning unsubstatial things like love or respect. no one needs it. but people want it.